Letter to my soulcrusher

No asylum for my feelings I can’t be emotional

I’m a pariah when I tell the truth

You want my lies It’s so personal

And I take things too personal Feeling like everything is costing me my life

Seems like no matter what I try to do, all that hard effort will end in my strife

And it ain’t right like cheap vodka no chaser

Emotions bitter flavored and it makes me scrunch my face up

Too heavy too loud no rock concerts

No grins no smiles my feelings too hurt

Let me insert

I think it’s funny how…

Head tilted up

This ain’t no meme You got me messed up

You say I’m acting tough or too non-chalant

But when I act a fool suddenly I’m the crazy one

I hope you having fun killin me

You’d kick me off a cliff and write my eulogy with entitled audacity

Why not let me be me with no apologies?

It’s a real question

Instead you walking around like you feelin me

Long as things are good for you, you keep forgettin me

This is epitome of how I don’t want to be

I just want my life journey to be a good one

But my soul can’t breathe

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Late Admission

I was on IG today when I realized what’s going on

It hit me why I never erased your number from my phone

I loved you once

I was into you but the truth it pisses me off because I thought

I moved on from you

Swore I did

Ignored your phone calls to prove it

But still it’s like you parked your car on my heart and never moved it

As soon as I see you with somebody smiling, It hits me

I never made you smile like that

And it gets me

because I think maybe I never knew you

or maybe I’m missing out on the new you

So I’m parading around like I’m the new black

Heart heavy with feelings I’m trying hold back

Never expected to be hung up like that

but your face is a trigger

Making me act distracted like I had no reaction

Can’t give you the satisfaction though that smile pervades my private place

my personal space

Making vivid memories that won’t erase

My conscious remote

I press fast forward

My mind tries to move me

My heart needs a lawyer

It’s guilty as ever of betraying me

I never got over you Iike I tried to believe