Letter to my soulcrusher

No asylum for my feelings I can’t be emotional

I’m a pariah when I tell the truth

You want my lies It’s so personal

And I take things too personal Feeling like everything is costing me my life

Seems like no matter what I try to do, all that hard effort will end in my strife

And it ain’t right like cheap vodka no chaser

Emotions bitter flavored and it makes me scrunch my face up

Too heavy too loud no rock concerts

No grins no smiles my feelings too hurt

Let me insert

I think it’s funny how…

Head tilted up

This ain’t no meme You got me messed up

You say I’m acting tough or too non-chalant

But when I act a fool suddenly I’m the crazy one

I hope you having fun killin me

You’d kick me off a cliff and write my eulogy with entitled audacity

Why not let me be me with no apologies?

It’s a real question

Instead you walking around like you feelin me

Long as things are good for you, you keep forgettin me

This is epitome of how I don’t want to be

I just want my life journey to be a good one

But my soul can’t breathe

A Desperation

To be human is to be desperate and I desperately need to be loved

I feel like the ignorance and hatefulness around me will swallow me up

So every morning I try harder even though it seems all the good slips further away

It could be all these rainy days making me long for warmth

It could be a viral sadness suffocating me slowly

But bottom line is I feel this desperation to live

I want a little more than existence

I want a little more than brief friendships and briefer courtships

Understand the salvation of a soul

Understand the tangle of a brilliant mind

Foggy, Exhausted, nearly wasted potential

It’s pathetic that holding hands is not a significant moment in most people’s lives

Much less realizing the extent of love for someone else before they’re gone