Just A Hug

I miss you even though you’re standing right there
We’re a million miles in separate directions leading to nowhere
We’re reaching out grabbing fists full of air
We’re reaching out because we don’t know what else to do

We’re seeking solace
Just need a piece
Just need contact
Not restless sleep

It’s definitely my fault
I let you go
You asked for love and I said no
I had your bags packed
I was so ready
Didn’t want reminders of you
But you were everywhere

Trying not to think of you
But you’re still standing there
A monolith that maidens hang flowers on
The picture of joy and gaiety
I want you to hate me
Because it haunts me
The truth
That you loved me and still do

Whatever wrongs there were
I can’t dwell on
What could’ve been makes me cry
Life was concrete and I fell on it
I played cool about it because I knew why

I put popularity over my happiness
I threw away forever for something temporary
And gratification was so instant that it was gone in an instant
And my craving was so insistent
I plowed through the beds of my choosing
If alcohol and sex were drugs
I was using

I was abusing
I was abused
I was damaged
I wanted to be used
I didn’t feel like a person
I thought it all had to be a dream
Or a nightmare where everyone was insincere and mean

You were in my corner
Even though I pierced your soul
You stood tall although I knew you couldn’t possibly be whole
Nobody compared

Silly me
I compared them all to you
And they failed
Miserably
And I put them all out of their misery
But of course having done that
There was no comfort for me
I was in a bad place
And you couldn’t save me

I had to save myself
And you couldn’t pay me to wrinkle time
I could never undo anything that was done anyway
We are who are because of it
And we know life is not a black cloud that we’re stuck in
Though it seems like we’re looking at each other from separate universes
And we’re reaching in
For us, just a hug would be amazing

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