Suppression

I thought I would kiss you in that moment but I didn’t
Don’t know why
Honestly there was nothing stopping me
The smell, your smell
A musky, sweaty, worn off cologne scent
I inhaled it and wanted to own it
I choked up because I almost had it
You had your arms open
I was so afraid to be there
Your heart had always been open
And there I had always rested
With so much energy invested there
It has to be hard to let go
I guess that’s why I can’t either
But with one hand I hold you
With the other I’m pushing you away
Neither of us is sure what we really want in the long run
But then again with us things were always in the moment
There are moments you seize what I don’t say
Because you can see it in my eyes even when you ain’t looking that hard
The desire swallows you up
The secret thoughts devour my dreams
It’s so obvious
I’m sorry it’s so obvious

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